Welcome.
My son was delivered from me by cesarean section on January 4th, 2007 after what was called a "failed induction". I was only 6 days "overdue"--my OB routinely induced at 41 weeks, which seems to be standard practice today. I was labeled as a "Failure to progress" and was told I had "CPD" (Cephalopelvic Disproportion). It was the scariest, most painful day of my life; but my son was also here, healthy and beautiful. He has inspired me to write again, to speak up, stand my ground and opened my eyes to the medicalization of birth.
Before my son was born, I was like so many women today; what my doctor said was absolute and the hospital was the safest place to have a baby. I was unaware of the current state of obstetrics, the cesarean epidemic, and the underbelly of grief and anger associated with the unwanted, and often unnecessary surgical extraction of our children. I read the popular books,"What To Expect When Your Expecting" and "Your Pregnancy Week By Week" cover to cover, but nothing further. I was naive, I didn't think I would ever have a cesarean. I thought I would go into the hospital and have an uncomplicated, natural vaginal delivery.
I was wrong.
After my son was born, I felt overwhelming sadness, but didn't know why. I thought it was the "Baby Blues" that everyone talks about. Then, after the reality of the birth sank in--I realized I hated my cesarean, and worst of all--it wasn't necessary. I was amazed to find so many women who felt the same way about their cesarean sections. I couldn't believe what was really happening in maternity wards all over the country--I had no idea. It is kept quiet not only by the medical community, but by the mothers as well.
Many women think that the feelings they have after a cesarean are wrong and they are afraid to share them with others, even loved ones. When a woman is upset about her birth experience, and tries to reach out to someone, it is usually met with,"All that matters is a healthy baby", or "It's not that bad". This is very damaging to her. Until someone has experienced an unwanted cesarean section, they never will fully understand, but it doesn't make her pain invalid. This has inspired me to create a place where mothers, and fathers, can vent, share poetry, artwork, cesarean and VBAC birth stories and anything else that helps them through those painful feelings.
A healthy baby, though important, is not all that matters. Mothers matter too.
-Michele